rambles in a world of my own

Erm hi *waves*

Well I know I don’t use my blog for much (I hope that’ll change soon though), and don’t know if anyone actually reads this, but I had to write this up.

As some of you will know I have a condition called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy (RSD) that has been increasingly debilitating for me over the last six years, leaving me bedbound for at least the past three. it compromises of constant pain that feels like you are being boiled alive and repeatedly hit by heavy boulders, along with muscle loss and weak skin as movement lessens. It has left me with no use of my right leg with my knee and ankle stiffened so you could draw a straight line along it from my hip to my toes.

Anyway, I have had this living hell day in, day out with absolutely no respite from it. Not for one measly second. And then I woke up this morning… well I think I woke up, although I may have been sucked into an alternate reality, or a hallucination! The RSD is vanished, every last speck of it is gone. I still have pain from blisters and sores, but no RSD in sight. I haven’t moved yet, I’m scared it’ll suddenly come back upon me, and I have no idea what to do while it’s not here. I feel strangely sick and dizzy, the sudden change just makes me feel really odd. I have to keep looking to see if my leg is still there!!!

There is a thing that can happen to RSD patients called remission where some or all of the RSD goes away. This usually happens in the first couple of years though if it is going to, and there’s nothing to say it’s permanent. It could come back in an hour’s time, a week or even a decade. This is making me very uncertain of what to do, do I keep still and enjoy the lack of pain, and hope it stay away? Do I try to get some of the things done that I need to? If it stays away at what point do I decide to start doing things rather than just waiting? I have no idea and feel really lost, so anyone who wants to put in their view would be welcome.

Finally, I apologise for possible bad spelling, as I hope you can understand I’m a little scattered!

doctorsdiva

I tag:
 

cjharknessgirl

dameruth

earlgreytea68

gioiamia

madder_rose

nattieb

Ok, since I’m new on here I figure I should probably do a short intro, even though I hate the things.

Well I’m Laura, sixteen years old and living in the east of England the last time I checked. That said, I’ve been bed bound for about twp years now, so for all I know the rest of the world apart from the house (and the Chinese takeaway!) were destroyed any no one told me. Hmmm… well if you’re reading this then I guess you must exist too, so maybe that theory isn’t correct!

My health isn’t brilliant; I have a type of never damage called RSD which started in my lower right leg five years ago, and has now spread full body. It’s left my right leg unable to lift by itself, and the rest of me with limitations and a hell of a lot of pain, so I have to be dependant on my mother. I’m more than happy to go into details if people want to know more, just drop me a mail – and hope I figure out how to open it.

I enjoy writing fiction, particularly Doctor Who and Torchwood fan fiction. I currently have a whofic account, but not much of my work is uploaded right now. I also have various other short pieces, half completed works and drabbles stashed in files on other subjects that I expect I’ll find a use for one day. If anyone is willing to help me improve my writing I’d be extremely grateful. I know it’s not fantastic at the moment, but I’d like to change that

Well that’s about all I can think of about me for now, thanks for dropping by and reading